It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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