Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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