Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
