i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
