If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
