so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
