Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
