I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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