Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
