is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize