Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
