I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
