There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
