Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
