I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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