all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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