Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
