they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
