Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
