when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
