Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize