like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
