at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
