Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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