I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
