when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
