I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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