Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
