i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
