the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's just like the Real World with babies
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
