he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
