I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
