Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Im part way to drunk.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
