i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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