They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
