How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
