would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
