Can i not drive my cunt home
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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