I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
