dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
