porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
