...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Will you blow on my dice?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Randomize
