there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
