I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
