I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
