I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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