Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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