She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
