Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
