I want to walk on stilts...naked
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
