Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
