i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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